Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I Was Blind, But Now I See

Welcome back friends! Happy Wednesday to you! Well, I must tell you that today is pretty special to's my birthday! That's right, today I am forty-six years old. Gosh, it seems like just yesterday that I was eighteen and getting out of high school.  Who hit the fast-forward button?  My how time does fly.

I shared with you on Monday how the self-worth and rejection issues I suffered with from childhood had affected me through negative self-talk, toxic thought patterns, people-pleasing mentality, having no boundaries, anger, jealousy, shame, and bitterness.  I would also like to add that I suffered with depression off and on over the years as well.  I did seek out medical help with the depression when it got to the point where I could not pull myself out of that pit, which was also when I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  I was put on anti-depressants for a little while and it helped me tremendously.  Please know my friends, that there is no shame in asking for help.  Please don't let anyone make you feel bad for seeking out medical help if you are struggling in this area.  God wants us whole and He can certainly use doctors to help us in these areas.  Let's get started with today's message!

After crying out to the Lord for help with these things I had struggled with for so long, He faithfully started showing me, a little at a time, that many of those problems were rooted in wrong thinking about who I was, as well as believing the lies of the enemy.  He also revealed to me, on one particular day, that I had made an idol out of seeking other's approval for my worth and value.  He showed me that I had put what others said and thought about me above what He says about me.  Ouch, ouch, and ouch!  Now that was a hard truth to hear.  I remember the day this happened.  I was out on our back porch swing, where I would go often to have some quiet time.  I was feeling frustrated and discouraged about some very painful things that had recently happened, as well as feeling that God didn't love me since He didn't prevent these things from happening.  I was struggling with those same old negative, toxic feelings and thoughts coming to the surface once more.  I told God that if He truly loved me then He would have protected me and my family from this painful situation.  I didn't understand why things had happened the way they had.  The painful losses we had suffered were overwhelming to me.  I was feeling angry and hurt, and I said, "God, I thought You loved me!"  I remember so clearly what God said to me in that moment.....He said, "Sherry, I have given you everything I have to show you how much I love you.  I have given my Only Son to die for you.  If you can't see how much I love you by what I've already done for you, then there is nothing more I can give to convince you."  My heart felt like it was breaking.  This crushed me.  I could not believe I had done that.  It was true though.  I sat there in shock.  I had done exactly what He said.  It was like scales had been removed from my eyes.  How many people had given their very life for me to show me how much they loved me?  How many people had died a horrific death to show me the depth of their love?  I could finally see the whole, ugly truth of what I had done for so many years.  I sat there for the longest time just weeping.  How lost and blind I had been!  I immediately asked God to forgive me.  I told Him I would no longer place what others say about me above what He says about me.  I would no longer look to others for my worth and value.  I thanked Him over and over for His love.  It is more than enough for me!  This was the beginning of freedom for me!

This is where I will close for today my friends.  I will pick back up on Friday with my next post entitled, "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly."  Here's something for you to think about over the next couple of days: Are you basing your worth and value on what others say about you or how they treat you?  This can be a tough question.  Please remember my dear friends, that your worth and value come from your Heavenly Father, not anyone else.  He thought you were so valuable and worth so much that He was willing to send His One and Only Son to die for you.  There is no greater love than that.  He knows every hair on your head and created you to be like no one else.  You are greatly loved!  Keep thinking about what you're thinking about!  Until next time my friend, be blessed!

*Scripture Verses to Encourage You:

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And [yet] not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God.  But [even] the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many [flocks] of sparrows." ~Luke 12:6-7

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
     you formed me in my mother's womb.
 I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
 You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
 You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
 Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
      before I'd even lived one day." ~Psalm 139:13-16 (MSG)


  1. When I encouraged you to start a blog, I had NO IDEA how very much you would be sharing. You are so brave to be sharing all of this with the bloggy world. No doubt God had this planned because your stories and words will surely be a saving grace to many. I have always thought you were such a sweet and loving person. Little did I know just how much you had gone through to become this amazing woman that you are. I can't wait to see how God will use this blog to touch many hearts. You rock, my friend.

    1. Oh Marcie, your sweet comment brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so very much for your encouragement. It truly means so much to me. Starting a blog has been on my heart for quite a while now, but I was more than a little afraid to open myself up and share the struggles I had been through, but I knew God had done so much in my life that if I could help just one person, then it would be worth it. My desire is that God will touch hearts and bring healing and wholeness to those who have struggled with these things too. I give Him all the glory for what He has done in my life! I love you sweetie! :)

  2. Happy 46th Birthday, Sherry! God sure does have His ways to get our attention and share truth if we'll only take the time to listen. I'm glad that you chose to make the changes in your thought patterns of your worth. I love the scripture verse you shared, touched my heart! Thank you for sharing your personal growth with us. It's so open and honest. I know that God will bless you for sharing. I agree with Mrs.Mann; You are a sweet and amazing person.

    1. Awww, thank you so very much my dear friend!!! He certainly does, doesn't He? I'm so glad He loved me enough to show me those areas that needed to change. I truly appreciate all your loving, encouraging words my friend. They have meant so much to me, not just at this time, but throughout the course of our friendship. I am so grateful the Lord brought you into my life to encourage and guide me through some very difficult times. I love you!!! :) You're pretty darn amazing yourself!