Have you been there too? Have you been to the point of actually feeling like you're just going to scream, or have a melt down, or pull your hair out, if one more thing gets added on top of the pile of problems you're already trying to deal with? Things seem to go that way sometimes don't they.
The phrase, "When it rains, it pours" is definitely something I am familiar with. Let me tell you about a time when it was "pouring" and how God showed up to make a way for us.
We live on a small farm here in the country that consists of seven goats and three horses. It can get costly to take care of them, as far as feed, hay, and regular medical care, not to mention when emergencies come up. There was a season about four years ago where it seemed like it was one thing after the other with one of our horses. The one we kept having problems with was an old mare we had gotten as a rescue a few years before this. Every time we turned around we were having to call the vet for an emergency visit because of things going on with this mare. I think we called the vet at least five or six times over the course of year with this one particular horse. Our finances were stretched to the max and we were paying for these emergency visits with our credit card. If you've had any experience in getting in debt with a credit card, you know how quickly that can happen before you realize it. We had decided shortly before all this stuff started happening with this horse, that we were going to stop using the credit cards so we could get out of debt. Well isn't that the way it seems to go? We make the decision to stop using the cards, and then we get hit with all of the situations with this horse. I felt angry and frustrated because it felt like we could not get our head above water before something else would happen. We were already struggling financially, so this situation just added more stress on top of what I was already trying to deal with. I was at the end of my rope. I remember one particular day, shortly after the vet left from another emergency visit, sitting on the back porch steps with my husband. I sat there weeping, wondering how we were going to pay for this last vet visit. We had asked the vet if she would just send us the bill instead of us charging it on our credit card again. She agreed to do that and told us we could send the full payment in the mail after we got the bill. Well, this particular vet is located in one of the surrounding counties, so we knew it would only be a few days before the bill would arrive. I did not see how we were going to pay this bill. We did not have any savings whatsoever. We did not have extra money that we could count on to pay this bill. We had decided not to use the credit cards anymore because we were only digging ourselves deeper and deeper in the pit of debt, so that was no longer an option. As I sat there on the steps that day, I remember telling my husband, and God too, "Well unless God can make the money appear before Monday, I don't see how we are going to pay this bill!" I was so angry when I said this. I did not for one minute think God was going to come through for us. I felt like He hadn't helped us so far, so why would He do anything to help now. This was just one more instance where my stinkin' thinkin' was rising to the surface again.
Me and my husband were taking a marriage class with a group from a church we used to go to at that time. At class that particular night, each person in the group was sharing something that was on their heart or that they needed prayer for. When it was my turn, I shared about how I had been struggling with the issues with our finances and how we had made the decision to stop using our credit card so we could get out of debt, and how just that day we had one more emergency vet call for this horse, and I didn't know how in the world we were going to pay this bill because it was a substantial amount of money. As soon as I got done sharing what was on my heart, another person in the group looked at his wife and she nodded her head at him, and he then told me that he believed God wanted him and his wife to pay that bill for us. What???? Oh my goodness! I am sitting here now with tears rolling down my face, once again, as I share this story with you. I cannot begin to tell you how I felt in that moment. I could not say anything, all I could do was just cry. I could hardly believe what was happening.
God came through even when I had the wrong attitude and doubted that He would. He came through even though I had no idea how He would do it.
It brings tears to my eyes every single time I think back to that time. This couple God used to bless us by paying that bill, are some of the sweetest people I know. They have such a heart for God and their obedience to Him is evident in their life. What they did back then will never be forgotten. I don't know if they realized what a difference it made in my faith for them to do what God told them to. That has been a major memorial marker for me when hard times come along.
I look back on that time and remember that God was faithful. He came through for us. He made a way, where there seemed to be none.
As far as what happened with the old mare that had so many problems, we had to eventually put her down because the vet believed she probably had cancer of the liver. She got to the point where she was losing weight and was having problems getting back up after laying down. That was another tough day for us, but God was there to comfort and strengthen us as we walked through it. I still miss hearing her whinny to me at feeding time, but I know she's not suffering anymore.
Please know my friend, that no matter what you're going through, even when it seems the darkest, God is there. He will make a way in the desert. He will come through for you. I don't know how and I don't know when, but He will. He has not forgotten you. He is faithful.
Until next time my friends, be blessed.